Jay Spence Remembering Jay LA Times Obituary Bio Jay Spence Photography

Remembering Jay

Los Angeles photographer, Jay Spence was one of my dearest friends. On Sunday, January 19, Jay was tragically killed in a car accident coming back from a ski trip in Mammoth Lakes, CA. 

Jay had the purest heart of anyone I've ever known. He was truly an angel on earth. Dedicated wholeheartedly to his friends and family. The smile on that picture above, as warm as it is, doesn't even come close to showing how much light he had inside. He was completely selfless, oh so giving, and an incredible character full of life and spirit. He was one of those people that you laughed the hardest and loudest with whenever you saw him. And he was one of the most talented people to grace my life. I am so grateful to have been able to call him my friend. 

Jay was so warmhearted and humble that it would startle me every time I saw his work. He was so down to earth and just, Jay, that you would easily forget how much of a powerhouse he was. He was completely void of arrogance, of any kind, and really unaware of how truly talented he was. No matter what successes he achieved he never lost touch with who he was and what mattered to him. He was all about his friends and family. Every time I saw him he had a huge hug and unmistakable toothy grin waiting to greet me. And he always made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. He took great pleasure in other people's joy, and great sorrow in other people's sadness. 

One example of this revealed itself to me years ago when I was working for Jay at his studio. He brought me into his business and his family. Working for Jay was really like being part of an extended family. My working experience at Spence Studios was really extraordinary. It was something so special. And I never really left the studio even after I stopped working for it.  There was something about it that just drew everyone in, and back. And that something was undoubtedly Jay.  

At one point, Jay had to fire somebody who worked for the studio. He knew it had to happen and that it was the right thing to do for the business. We all backed him up on this. But he was so conflicted about it. I'll never forget how nervous he was. We gave him reassurance and he set off to do what he had to do. When it was over, I saw him sitting outside at a table. I walked downstairs to see how he was. And he was crying. I couldn't believe it. I had never seen anyone so affected by other people's pain, especially a boss. I asked how he was and he just kind of fell into my arms. I was worried that something horrible happened.  I asked him and he simply said that he felt so bad about having to fire someone. What would she do now?  Would she be okay?  Can she make her rent? 

The business half of me wanted to comfort him logically and say, Jay! You did the right thing, it had to be done, you have to think about your business...etc. etc. But the emotional part of me was so moved by his reaction that all I could do was hug him harder. And we stood and hugged for what seemed to be hours but was probably only minutes. He stepped back, looked at me with those incredible soulful and sensitive eyes, gave me a kiss on the cheek, then went back to work. 

I'll never forget that moment as long as I live. It was a moment of true humanity. 

Jay Spence was so many things. He was exuberant, funny, loving, caring, talented, goofy, scattered, gregarious, excitable, sensitive, compassionate, the list is endless. But what I loved the most about Jay, was that he was not afraid to show his vulnerabilities. In fact he embraced them. This was Jay.

When I got married in Boston in 1997 he graciously offered to come and shoot the wedding for me. My husband and I were blessed doubly that day, one with Jay's presence and two with the amazing photographs we have of the wedding. So now, thankfully, I have these beautiful reminders all over my apartment of Jay's talent. 

I find myself at a complete loss to express the devastation I feel for losing him. And I'm so angry at myself for not being able to paint a more complete picture of how wonderful this man was. 

The only comfort I have, and I know many of his friends share this with me, is the knowledge that God must have really wanted Jay. God must have known how special he was and gifted at touching people's hearts. I guess he just needed him up there to look after everyone and shine some light down on us. 

I love you Jaybird. And I will miss forever. Be at peace my brother. 

You can check out more of Jay's extraordinary work online at jayspence.com

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LA Times Obituary, Sunday, February 2, 2003

Jay Tilton Spence 

Jay Tilton Spence, 33, of W. Hollywood, CA died of injuries Sunday, January 19, 2003. Funeral services were held in Des Moines, Iowa, 1/24/03. Survived by mother and step-father, Susie & Chuck Muelhaupt, father & step-mother, John & Judy Spence, brother, Jeffrey Spence & Cassandra Spence, all of Des Moines, IA.  Brothers, E.C. Muelhaupt of San Francisco, CA, Calvin Muelhaupt of Moline, IL, sister, Natasha Campbell of San Jose, & grandparents, John & Helen Spence of Bradenton, FL. Born in Des Moines, he attended Brooks Institute of Photography, Santa Barbara, CA. & earned his degree from Cal Arts.  Owner & photographer of Spence Studios West Hollywood, CA, Jay’s prestigious clients included Harper's Bazaar, Elle, People & In Style magazine which featured several of his celebrity weddings. Spence was a respected member of the LA business community & beloved by many friends & family. A memorial service will be held Friday, February 7th, 2003, at 1:00pm, at Grey Stone Manor, 940 Loma Vista Dr, Beverly Hills, CA.  Donations are welcome at memorial or sent to Spence Studios, 1106 N. LaCienega, CA 90069, c/o Dion Rottman. All excess proceeds will be donated to a scholarship fund in Jay’s name at an institution of his family’s choosing.  Jay’s warm, loving heart & commitment to friendship has always brought people together. His bright spirit will forever remain in our hearts & will never be forgotten.

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Bio from jayspence.com 

Jay Spence has been friends with the lens for over 14 years. He has attended Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara and is a graduate of California Institute of the Arts where he earned his Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) degree.

Jay served an internship at CBS Studios in Los Angeles and currently owns SPENCE STUDIOS; he specializes in commercial and theatrical headshots using all natural lighting to create his signature effect. His freelance photography, which consists primarily of celebrity weddings, editorial layouts and landscape artistry, has been featured in many prominent magazines including:
In Style, Harper's Bazaar, Elle, People and Entertainment Weekly.

Most recently, Jay photographed several advertising layouts for the prominent Los Angeles based firm, Kovel-Fuller. His most recognizable work in this genre is the National "JIFFY LUBE" advertising campaign that is currently being featured on nearly one hundred billboards in test markets across the country.

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